Mari Pangelinan

Tag: life

  • Protecting Your Peace: The Power of Saying No

    Protecting Your Peace: The Power of Saying No

    We’ve all been guilty of it – agreeing to something we may or may not want to do, whether it’s an impromptu coffee meeting, an extra shift at work, or another project that can squeeze itself into our already overflowing calendar. We do it because we don’t want to let people down, we don’t want to miss out on something, or feel the pressure to keep ourselves occupied. But the truth is: sometimes, it’s okay to say no.


    Think about the last time you did something just because you ought to. Maybe it was going out when you just wanted to stay home and relax. How did that turn out? I find that trying to have a positive attitude about something I don’t wish to do can be utterly draining.


    Saying no can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re a people-pleaser or someone who thrives with a busy schedule. But saying no is not about being selfish or rude – it’s about protecting your peace. It’s about stepping back and doing what is the best decision for you.


    For me, learning to say no has been a game-changer. I used to think that I always had to comply with whatever people asked me to do or participate in. But I discovered that I was spreading myself too thin, keeping me from doing my best when I was doing something. Now I’ve been trying to be considerate in how I spend my time. If a commitment is not going to make me happy and rather is going to stress me out, then I grant myself permission to say no.


    According to a report by an article from the University of Rochester Medical Center, boundaries prevent burnout and rather permit us to direct our energy towards things that we care about more.


    Changing the script around ‘no’ has been empowering for me. Instead of worrying about what everyone else will say if I DO NOT show up to an event, I prefer to see it as a way in which I can do whatever it takes to create space for me to be the best version of myself and put what’s in the best interest of me first. It doesn’t have to be some big deal or antisocial or lazy; it is just being intentional and deciding on what’s best for YOU.


    So, if you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, take that as your sign to say no to something this week. Notice what happens. Maybe it’s a small no, like skipping one more social obligation. Maybe it’s bigger, like canceling a project that is uninspiring and draining. Whatever it is, allow yourself to protect your time. You may find that saying no is the most powerful thing you can do.

  • The Power of Doing Nothing: Why Taking a Break Isn’t a Waste of Time

    The Power of Doing Nothing: Why Taking a Break Isn’t a Waste of Time


    We’re living in a world where being busy and stressed is a sign of success. If we’re not working, socializing, or studying, we’re behind. But what if doing absolutely nothing is just what we need?

    I used to feel so bad about wasting time in bed scrolling through TikTok for an hour or zoning out to some random playlist. It was time I could be using getting something off my to-do list. Recently, though, I’ve started to savor those times and at times noticing the productivity hidden in taking a break.


    Why Slowing Down is Important
    College life can feel never ending– juggling classes, jobs, friends, and all the never-ending activities. There’s constant pressure to keep moving, keep working, keep socializing. With the constant flow of Instagram posts comes the stress to keep up and fill your schedule to the brim.


    But here’s the thing: Staying busy 24/7 can actually backfire. A Time article shares “stress affects the operation of every organ and system in the body, including the immune system.” So why would we let ourselves reach unhealthy ammounts of stress with no rest?


    What “Doing Nothing” Can Look Like
    When I say, “doing nothing,” I don’t mean binge-watching a new series in a marathon or scrolling aimlessly through TikTok. I mean giving yourself permission to actually disconnect. No phone, no laptop, no stressors.

    Doing nothing for me is:

    – Lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

    – Taking a color walk.

    – Sitting outside.

    – Setting a timer and letting my mind wander.

    – Coloring in a fun coloring book.

    These might feel awkward or like a waste of time at first – but trust me soon you will find yourself building in time to just be.

    Why Doing Nothing Is Actually Doing Something
    Surprisingly, doing nothing is an incredibly effective way to recharge. According to Harvard Health, resting without interruption can decrease stress levels, boost creativity, and even help you work through feelings you’ve been holding back.


    Personally, I’ve found I feel more balanced when I allow myself to do nothing. Giving myself permission to take time to reset is essential these days. My head clears, and I notice things that I would otherwise have missed out on if I’d been running around with a mind full of a million things. Allowing yourself to take breaks, even if it is hard and awkward at first, can make all the difference.

  • Logging Off to Tune In

    Logging Off to Tune In

    It is no secret that we, as a society, have become reliant on our screens. The American Psychological Association reports that teens spend, on average, 4.8 hours a day on social media. This doesn’t surprise me – between school, social media, texting, and of course mindless scrolling I use my phone for basically everything.

    Reaching for my phone has become this built-in time filler integrated into nearly every task. Now don’t worry this isn’t going to be a post on how we should all get off our phones forever. I do believe there are certain benefits to using our phones. But recently, I have been questioning how can I unplug without feeling like I’m missing everything?

    NPR reported that 91% of people felt better after blocking the internet from their phones for just two weeks. As a college student, I’m not sure this was a realistic path for me to help break the doom-scrolling habits, but this opened my eyes to what a small change can do.

    My Mini Detox

    When Lent came around, I decided to give up social media at night. This felt like a good step toward living life a bit more unplugged. I had my roommate create a screentime password and lock my apps to hold myself accountable. I knew this would be challenging but I didn’t anticipate struggling as much as I did.

    Turning off my phone at night was actually a relief. This allowed me to focus on my nighttime routine and prepare for the next day. The challenge came when I’d wake up in the middle of the night and didn’t have TikTok to scroll through to fall back asleep. With social media blocked, I found myself scrolling through anything and everything I could find on my phone. This was the moment I realized I needed this push toward being unplugged.

    Although this was hard there were other aspects of this that helped me build space between my phone and the urge to scroll. Now, I find myself assuming that screen time notification is about to pop up each night – and sometimes I even wish it did.

    I have learned that yes, I might be the “screenager” I tried so hard not to become. But also, being unplugged doesn’t have to happen overnight. Slowly phasing out habits that are blocking you from connecting with others can be the first step to finding your balance in being unplugged.

    Here are 5 things that helped me replace scrolling

    1. Listen to a podcast.
      • My go to podcast has been the Mel Robbins podcast, this allowed me to focus on something else without having to stare at a screen.
    2. Go on a walk or move your body!
      • I find myself feeling antsy without the mindless scrolling. A five-minute meditation, walk, or yoga helped me clear my head and get out some energy.
    3. Leave your phone at home (when you can).
      • I get that having your phone on you can feel like a safety net. But when you’re with people you trust, try leaving that phone at home and connect with those around you.
    4. Read.
      • It sounds basic, but picking up a book that is interesting to you (not an assigned reading) can act as a good way to reset your mind.
    5. Let your phone die.
      • At times I find myself scared of my phone hitting 1% battery, but I have been trying to let it die and challenge myself to charge it only once a day. This acts as my own kind of “screen time” notification.

    Balance doesn’t mean cutting technology out altogether. It means using your screens more intentionally. Even a brief time offline can make all the difference. And hey, you might even enjoy life a bit more unplugged. I encourage you to log off – just temporarily and tune in to what is around you.